I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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