the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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