oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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