and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
