I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
