two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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