i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
She is in my trunk
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
