...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
