I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
