there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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