I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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