Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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