You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
