My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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