There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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