Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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