he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize