Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
