I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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