dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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