if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
