glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
