You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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