i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize