Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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