Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
please don't ironically join a cult
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