Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
how does that bad decision feel?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize