He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
