everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
