you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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