It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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