Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
please come you make the beer taste better
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
What drink are we having for lunch?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
