Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
