Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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