I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
