Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
