just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I smell stomach acid.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize