how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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