Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
