my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Operation Purity has been aborted
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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