just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
