Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
