i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize