I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize