I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
