Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I wish I only lived at night.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
