TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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