I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
