Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
My balls are so social today.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
