Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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