That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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