life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I want to make a zoo with you.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
