Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
