Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You dont lie about slip and slides
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
