I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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