she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You dont lie about slip and slides
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize