i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
