Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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