So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
