Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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