Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
