Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize