I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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