Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
