I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Randomize
