i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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