Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
