if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
