I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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