I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
