I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Randomize