I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
