Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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