i would punch a child for taco bell
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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