Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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