If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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